She Will Never Live Up
by plumsblossom
Summary: A.A.C (Anti-Angel-Cordelia) My wishful thinking fiction on how Angel REALLY feels about Cordelia. Set in


My A.A.C. (Anti-Angel and Cordelia) Fiction. In my world where instead of Angelus returning (which by the way I'm very excited about) Angel does defeat The Beast and survive and it's all a so-called 'happy ending'. Warning: This is a very vulgar tale and is completely out of my wishful thinking. Warning! Angel and Connor are WAY out of character.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oh Angel I love you," Cordelia gushed as she rushed into his arms. Angel embraced her. "You're so strong and heroic and perfect. You're so gorgeous Angel!" Angel smiled. "Sure," he said modestly. "No really! You're so handsome and beautiful and you're muscles are like rocks! Who else could have killed The Beast and survived? You saved the world Angel!"  
  
Angel grinned. "I did didn't I?" She hugged him tighter. "Oh Angel I want nothing more than to take you to my bed and make mad passionate love to you until the end of time." Angel raised his eyebrows. "What about my soul? I'll lose it." Cordelia shrugged. "I'm too stupid to really care about that right now, please can we just worry about that later?" Angel laughed. "Sure Cordy, let's go to my room where no one will walk in on us."  
  
They retreated upstairs into his room. Angel sat down on the bed. "You know, Connor is really angry with us," Angel said thoughtfully. Cordelia shrugged again. She was great at not caring about anyone's feelings. "So? Like I would actually be into some crazy eighteen year old vampire offspring." Angel chuckled.  
  
"Yeah, he's probably at his flat now brooding and hitting things," Angel said. Cordelia walked towards Angel sexily. "He takes after his old man," Angel smirked. "Except in one way," she whispered in his ear. "Which way is that?" he asked. Cordelia leaned in and grabbed Angel's nether regions. "That way."  
  
Angel moaned. "Let's do this," he said. Cordelia started to unbutton his shirt. "No," Angel said, stopping her. "You first. I want you to strip and show me what I'm getting." Cordelia happily complied. She stripped down to her oh-so-perfect-I'm-so-better-than-everyone body and began to dance around.  
  
Angel growled. "That's very nice," he commented. Cordelia laughed and went to him. "Let's do you now." Angel stopped her again. "How about you give me some head first?" Cordelia's eyes widened but she agreed. She wanted to give Angel everything he wanted. "But won't you lose your soul sooner than we thought?" Cordelia asked, troubled. She didn't want to miss out on getting the real stuff before Angel went all evil.  
  
"Nah," Angel commented. "Oral sex isn't *real* sex anyway." Cordelia acknowledged this and fifteen minutes later finished her oral exam. Angel stretched. "That was pretty good Cordy," he said as he zipped his pants up. She beamed. "Way better than Buffy could have done I'm sure," she said. Angel's eyes widened. "You were competing?"  
  
Cordelia blushed. "Of course not, hypothetically speaking I mean." Angel nodded, giving her a yeah sure look. "Please Angel can we do it now? Please?" Angel seemed to consider. "It's pretty nice to hear you beg. Why don't you try it some more?"  
  
Cordelia sighed but again assented. She was determined to make sure she was the best. "Please Angel can you make love to me? Please make me come so hard I'll pass out. I'm begging you Angel, before I waste away." Angel stood up, looking down at Cordelia, who was still on her knees.  
  
"Stand up," he said. Cordelia rushed to do so. Angel ran a finger up her abdominal and grinned when she shuddered. "You really want it huh?" Cordelia nodded eagerly. Angel nodded carefully. "Well baby," he said, she looked up at him with her big brown eyes. "Tough shit." Her eyes seemed to pop out of her head.  
  
"What?" She asked. "You're joking right?" Angel backed away from her. "Actually...no. In fact, I can't believe you ever thought I'd let you into bed with me." Cordelia looked at him and struggled to comprehend, after all, she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. "Angel? I don't understand."  
  
Angel laughed spitefully. "That's not hard to believe." She shook her head as she tried to cover her nudity. "Did you lose your soul? Are you Angelus?" She said, trying to think of an excuse for his blatant disdain. Angel shook his head. "Nope, just don't like you."  
  
Cordelia's eyes filled with tears. "Oh don't cry you idiot. You thought I cared for you? HAH. You must be stupid. The only reason I kept you around is because I liked being idolized. Makes me feel all strong and heroic." Cordelia backed away from him.  
  
"You're not Angel." She denied. "Face it toots: you'll never live up to Buffy. After all that beautiful, blonde bag of goodness no one can compare. You were just a distraction from my pain." The tears were falling down Cordy's poor face. "You're no good. I'm not even attracted to you past the fact you have a nice rack. And you give horrible head by the way."  
  
Cordelia sobbed and pulled the blanket from the bed to cover herself as Angel came closer to her. "All you've ever wanted was to show Buffy you could have anyone you wanted. And when she got me, you couldn't handle it. You couldn't handle the fact that I'll never even like you much less love you." *Sob* "So face it baby," Cordelia looked into his eyes, filled with cruel malevolence. "You ain't fucking nothin' to me. Now get your skanky, bitch ass outta my room and outta my goddamn hotel. You make me sick."  
  
Cordelia turned to flee. "Oh yeah, Cordy," Angel said as an after thought. She turned around hopefully, praying it was some sick joke. "Your haircut makes you look like a cancer patient. Now scram." She fled from the hotel wrapped in a blanket, ignoring the laughs from Gun, Lorn, Wesley and Fred, who were all in on the joke.  
  
She found herself at Connor's flat. She rushed into the elevator to go to his room. She knocked on his door. He opened it almost immediately. "Cordelia?" he asked as he ushered her inside. He took in her disheveled look and blanket-dress. "What happened?"  
  
She broke into new sobs. "He told me my hair cut was ugly!" She wailed. Connor looked at her like she was crazy. "Huh?" She sobbed some more. "He said that he never liked me and I was stupid." Connor looked surprised.  
  
She looked up at him. "You love me don't you Connor?" He turned around guiltily. "Connor?" She asked. "Well Cordy, I don't know how to break this to you..." She stared at his back. "What?" he turned around. "I don't really like you either." Cordy's jaw dropped. "What?!" Connor shrugged sheepishly.  
  
"I was only in it for a piece of ass, and I've already gotten that." Cordelia shook her head. "No! You and angel fought over me!" Connor rolled his eyes. "Oh that was only because I'd rather see you with me than him, but since he doesn't like you I don't personally care anymore." Cordelia wanted to scream.  
  
"You don't love me? Even if I give you this?" She dropped her blanket. Connor looked at her. "No, not really, I'm into girls with blonde hair and green eyes, like my dad's old girlfriend. You know her, Buffy? I saw a picture of her once, and DAMN." Cordelia picked up the blanket in a hurry, very ashamed and embarrassed.  
  
"Why does everyone like her? I'm so much better than her! I have boobs!" She exclaimed. Connor looked at her like she was crazy. "Look at her! She's the perfect blonde babe! Plus she can fight like a motha fucka. Damn the bitch is tough and hot!" Cordelia shook her head in disbelief. "I'm better! I'm better! Everyone loves me!"  
  
Connor sat down on a chair. "Sorry to break it to you but you're not, and no they don't." Cordelia broke into another set of tears. "I hate you all!" She yelled. Connor laughed. "Damn," he said sarcastically. She glared at him through her tears then rushed out the door.  
  
She speeded out of the building and into the street in her crazed state, failing to notice the large parade of 23 gigantic trucks coming. The first one hit her, incapacitating her. The next one came, and the next, she didn't actually die until the seventeenth truck came. The remaining 6 trucks flattened her body out so completely it was impossible to identify the body without some dental records.  
  
Angel joined Connor on the sidewalk to watch them scrape the remains of Cordelia off the street. "That's too bad," Connor said distractedly. "Yeah a shame," Angel said, looking around. They both laughed. "Not!" They laughed some more. "Hey dad," Connor said. "How about we go meet that old girlfriend of yours? See if she wants some father-son action."  
  
Angel contemplated this. "Sure, why not? Let's go son." Angel and Connor walked off towards the car for a ride to Sunnydale.  
  
The End...Or is it? 


End file.
